There I sat. Watching the heartbreak all around me. A forlorn college kid watches as his friend callously texts. A girl stands in line, nervously turning her dead cell-phone over in her hands. A man leans on the wall staring unseeingly at the floor.
The Verizon store. Again. Duecey had gone the way of all cell phones. Why do my cell-phones meet with such horrible fates? Memories flood my mind as I wait in line.
Phone 1: The Peanut Phone -- My first cell-phone. He was quite hardy. Made it through high school with me. He finally died after 2 years. I wish they still made that model, it was like the Pack Mule of cell-phones. Appeared 4 times in my high school year book. My favorite phone.
Phone 2: Untitled -- Long-lived (1 and a half year). Left behind and dropped often. Finally fell in a puddle and vibrated randomly and continually as if possessed. I couldn't bear to see Untitled in misery, and so he is now at peace.
Phone 3: Untitled 2 -- Made it about a year. Crumby flip-phone that's hinge thingy broke. Was not very close to this phone.
Phone 4: Untitled 3 -- Rather adventurous. Lost or stolen at Winter Jam.
Phone 5: Evan Rood -- Sounded like a mosquito when he vibrated. Harshly mistreated. Had a penguin on his battery. Highly hepful during the power outage. Drown in lemonade. Much mourned.
Phone 6: Duecey -- Pretty hardy, although mocked for her ancient appearance (she had an antenae). She fell in tea and survived. She committed suicide on Saturday afternoon, jumping out of my pocket.
As I sat waiting, I wished I was eloquent enough to compose a lament to their memory.
"Can I help you?" One of the grief counselors stood in front of me. He had a bluetooth and a blackberry "How insensitive!" I thought. But he also had on shoes that turned up at the toe, so I forgave him because he was clearly an elf. And I'm a big fan.
I explained the situation to the Elf. He was very helpful.
And that brings me to
Phone 7: Dottie. I don't know her very well yet. But I'm sure the others would be happy to know I found her as she's very unassuming and doesn't try to replace the memory of the others. I'm very thankful for her.
So I walked out of the Verizon store, much relieved, with a sparkle in my eye and a text-message on my heart.
7 comments:
I too have lost several phones over the years. Although I resisted falling into that committed of a relastionship until my sophmore year(of college)
I have lived with three.
#1/#2 (they were twins) were strong and happy phones. they finally died from excessive pocket jumping.
#3 Is a mean little sucker who knew I didn't like him from the begining. He intentionally turns his volume down so I miss calls, and refuses to hold a charge. I await his demise longingly.
I hope Dottie lives a long and productive life. :)
you dont even want to know my history
Classic post, my friend. I, too, have struggled with similar dilemmas in the past. Even now #6 occasionally slips into a coma from which I must wake her. I'm trying to be patient, but, I'm growing weary...
I can't believe the neglect of which I am reading! I am only on #3 and it has been 6 yrs! Have you no respect or value for the life of a phone?
I would understand if it were prepaid...#1 -- I hated that phone.
Or if you retired it quietly and let it take a much deserved rest like #2(upgraded)...
But at that I've only seriously damaged #3 once, and even then twas' mend able(got a new flippy thing)...
All I'm saying folks is be kind, show some respect, and certainly don't abuse these beloved friends...
They're a very adventurous risk-taking bunch... If they just had parachutes, they'd be better off.
I must say, I have you all beat - I'm only on #2. His predecessor was of the same model only he was a more attractive red. He became entrapped one evening between me and an icy porch. (That kinda hurt.) He went blind immediately in one eye (screen) and partially blind in the other, but alas total blindness overtook him and he had to give way to his duller colored brother.
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