Excerpt from "The Partially Ficticious Memiors of Two Friends"

November Correspondence *More fun if read aloud*

Dear Miss Phelps,
I'm in such a rush, nothing could cause me to stop and send a note, save this. I want you to come with me on a tour this Christmas, we'll be in London two weeks, and perhaps visit our friends in Chatham as well. Do say yes, for I'll consider all other answers rude and unacceptable. More to follow.
Yours affectionately,
J. Ford
Hollister St., C.
PS. How is your mother? And you must bring that recipe when you come, I shall never forgive you if you omit to do so.

Dear Miss Ford,
I do hope this epistle finds you better in spirit than it leaves myself. This afternoon before receiving your note, I was reminded of you because of a song I heard on the wireless. I do believe the song was entitled You Got Me Feelin' So Fly by a diverting little artist called, *ahem, polite cough* Mr. Toby Mac. So you can imagine how amusing it was to receive your letter.
I must tell you; last night the most frightful of events occurred! While I was preparing to retire, I opened a writing book only to discover another of those dreadful centipede creatures among it's pages! I'm sure you will recall the one we discovered in my quarters recently. I hurriedly slammed the book, but when I acquired enough courage to reopen it, all I discovered was one appendage of the horrid creature on the blank page. I also discovered one next to the armoire! I killed it with one of my killing Inuit boots. Now it occurs to me, they may be nesting or something in the area. Because of your "expert knowledge in all things scientific", I appeal to you for help and information. Perhaps you know a bit about the breeding or nesting habits of said nasty creatures. I've seen three of the things, and I begin to theorize that there is some sort of colony. If so, I'm positive it's time to come down on the vermin as the immovable tyrant I am toward all things creepy-crawly. If you wouldn't mind looking into this, I'd be ever so indebted and grateful and all that.
By the by, Mum is well, thanks for asking. I'll certainly try to find that heavenly apple fondue recipe, no worries. My respects to dear Hannah, how I long to see her again. Thanks awfully for the invitation, I can't tell you how I look forward to it!
Regards,
M. Phelps
Young Street, C.